„Ja kada sam bila klinac, bila sam klinka“ –
„When I Was a Boy, I Was a Girl“
by Ivana Todorovic
(Serbia 2013, 30 minutes)
Goca was born Gordon, she’s a 39 year old transsexual, living in Belgrade, Serbia. Documentary filmmaker Ivana Todorovic (33) follows her through her daily routine. Goca works as a call girl and singer, additionally raising her teenage niece Marina. She doesn’t really complain when her 18-year-old boyfriend steals her money, having learned to accept her strange family members as they are. She carefully watches her outfit before she leaves the house, because gay and transvestite people are not allowed to expose themselves as such. Sometimes she disguises as a man, hiding her long black hair under a Baseball cap. “I’m completely undefined”, she says laughingly. We don’t see her with her clients, but she’s relaxed when she gets her hormone injection.
Her big deal is a reality show she has been invited to. She rehearses her monologue, she sings with a friend onstage, but she’s afraid to fail in front of millions of people. Talking about this problem with her boyfriend and her niece doesn’t help. Todorovics shows Goca ‘s modest means and her pride of which, which does not always cope with reality. “When I take a closer look, there is no future for me. No one will spend a life with a tranny”, she says. But the next moment, Goca smiles at her young boyfriend. On stage she says “I go through life with my head held high”.